By Air Vice Marshal AILERON WINGFLAP, DFC*
*Deuced Fine Cove
Hello chums! I notice from the Trumpet sports page, such as it is, that there is some sort of football tourney due to be played in some time this year or is it next year?
As your esteemed Sports Correspondent I girded my loins, put down my freshly-lit Spitfire and took a fast sedan chair to the headquarters of the Football Association to ascertain which teams would be playing.
Here is the result of my extensive inquiries before they threw me out.
BRAZIL
Pinnochio
Lidoggo
Vimto, Memento, Borneo, Tango
Cheerio, Subbuteo
Scenario, Fellatio, Portfolio
Subs: Placebo, Porno, Banjo, Stereo (L), Stereo (R)
YUGOSLAVIA
Itch
Annoyingitch, Hardtoreachitch, Scratchanitch
Hic, Sic, Spic, Pric
Digaditch, Horseraditch, Fallinaditch
Subs: Mowapitch, Letsgetrich
RUSSIA
Whodyanicabolicov
Ticlycov, Chesticov, Nasticov
Slalomsky, Downhilsky, Risky, Pastrychev, Masterchev
Fukov, Takitov
Subs: Rubitov, Gechakitov, Sodov.
ROMANIA
Chatanugachiouchiou
Atishiou, Blessiou, Thankiou
Busqueue, Snookercue
Pennychiou, Twoapennychiou, Forapennychiou
I'llgetiou, Youandwhosami
Subs: Nonu, Manu, Stuffyiou
ITALY
Baloni
Potbelli, Beerbelli, Giveitsumwelli
Wotsontelli, Toonsgotkenni, Onetoomani
Legslikejelli, Havantenni, Wobblejelli, Spendapenni
Subs: Canthinkofani, Buggermi
HOLLAND
Kenning van Hire
Van Diemensland, Van der Valk, Van Gard, Van Erealdiseez
Ad van Tajus, Hertz van Rental, Transit van Doors
Van Coova Van Sprokendown, Aye van Hoe
Subs: Van Iller, Van Ishingcreme.