The Docker is innocent OK?

A scurrilous piece reprinted in the Drone’s One in the Eye column from an 1986 issue of Private Eye about Ray ‘Docker’ Mills being found in flagrante delicto with a wastepaper basket is apparently untrue.

Stephen Wood, who worked with Mills on the International Express, said:

"If you will permit space on the World's Greatest, I must rebut this appalling lie about The Docker and the Waste Bin. The story is totally untrue and I believe Ray extracted a large sum from PE after consulting Messrs. S, G and R.

"The story has a bizarrely coincidental sequel. When I worked with RM on the International Express I was usually first into the office, housed in a partitioned-off section of the Daily Star floor. 

"I began to notice a strange pong which grew worse as the weeks passed. Eventually the stench grew to the strength of ammonia and I had to investigate. Behind the office door (which was never locked) was plenty of evidence of liberal soaking on the fabric-covered wall. This huge pee-stain ran down into the carpet and spread.

"Some poor wretch had the job of cleaning it up, re-covering the wall and giving us new carpet tiles. Was this a crude form of revenge by someone with a bladder full of hatred for Mills? We'll never know the motive – if there was one – but the culprit was exposed, as it were. A Daily Star hack who had routinely relieved himself in our office after a strenuous night of entertaining contacts.

"He was given the boot soon after for other drink-related conduct.

*Ray Mills went to the Great Watering Hole in the Sky in 2006 aged just 66.

Roy Greenslade’s splendid tribute


© 2005-2019 Alastair McIntyre