Association Football

By Air Vice Marshal AILERON WINGFLAP, DFC*

*Deuced Fine Cove

Hello chums! I notice from the Trumpet sports page, such as it is, that there is some sort of football tourney due to be played in some time this year or is it next year?

As your esteemed Sports Correspondent I girded my loins, put down my freshly-lit Spitfire and took a fast sedan chair to the headquarters of the Football Association to ascertain which teams would be playing.

Here is the result of my extensive inquiries before they threw me out.

BRAZIL

Pinnochio

Lidoggo

Vimto, Memento, Borneo, Tango

Cheerio, Subbuteo

Scenario, Fellatio, Portfolio

Subs: Placebo, Porno, Banjo, Stereo (L), Stereo (R)

YUGOSLAVIA

Itch

Annoyingitch, Hardtoreachitch, Scratchanitch

Hic, Sic, Spic, Pric

Digaditch, Horseraditch, Fallinaditch

Subs: Mowapitch, Letsgetrich

RUSSIA

Whodyanicabolicov

Ticlycov, Chesticov, Nasticov

Slalomsky, Downhilsky, Risky, Pastrychev, Masterchev

Fukov, Takitov

Subs: Rubitov, Gechakitov, Sodov.

ROMANIA

Chatanugachiouchiou

Atishiou, Blessiou, Thankiou

Busqueue, Snookercue

Pennychiou, Twoapennychiou, Forapennychiou

I'llgetiou, Youandwhosami

Subs: Nonu, Manu, Stuffyiou

ITALY

Baloni

Potbelli, Beerbelli, Giveitsumwelli

Wotsontelli, Toonsgotkenni, Onetoomani

Legslikejelli, Havantenni, Wobblejelli, Spendapenni

Subs: Canthinkofani, Buggermi

HOLLAND

Kenning van Hire

Van Diemensland, Van der Valk, Van Gard, Van Erealdiseez

Ad van Tajus, Hertz van Rental, Transit van Doors

Van Coova Van Sprokendown, Aye van Hoe

Subs: Van Iller, Van Ishingcreme.


© 2005-2019 Alastair McIntyre